CONQUERING OUR FEARS

We all know the feeling of fear. Can we truly conquer our fears, or is fear an essential emotion? Has there ever been a time in human history when people were free from fear or any other negative emotion, such as sadness, anxiety, jealousy, anger, boredom, or worry? 

There are many different fears. Among the top are the fear of death, pain, illness, aging, rejection, abandonment, separation, and so on—the list is long. Interestingly, people fear other people more than they fear animals.   

With a clearer view, we see that behind all fears lies a common, singular fear—the fear of loss. 

It is a fact that in everything we do, we seek security, happiness, love, and peace. Simple logic suggests that I cannot seek something unless I already know it. So, are we desperately searching for these qualities simply because they are our very nature that we have forgotten, thinking we "lost it and are now searching for it," but in the wrong direction? Yet, we can only find something where we lost it.

Fear, in its original form, is an instinct designed to protect us from extreme danger. For example, if a lion suddenly appears in a square, fear will activate specific bodily functions so that the heart starts beating faster, blood pressure rises, and oxygen in the lungs increases, allowing me to make a leap that I could never accomplish under normal circumstances. However, how often do we encounter a lion in our lives? 

Although fear is a "luxury" instinct for rare and urgent situations, we use it excessively and in situations where it is not necessary. And just like a country that remains in a state of war for a long time begins to weaken in various areas, such as education, healthcare, and culture because all attention and energy are focused on defense, similarly, our bodies, which are under the influence of constant, and often subconscious, panic and tension without reason, also suffer.

So, how many of our fears have a legitimate reason for existence, and why do we excessively use this emotion? How does excessive and harmful fear develop?

Proper understanding and diagnosis are essential for solving any problem. As Socrates said, "the cause of all evil is ignorance."

One reason for the existence of fear is the wrong associations that create and increase fears. What does this mean? It means that we take "blurry" or completely distorted pictures. 

Let’s say I have a fluffy, white, harmless kitten that I have played with many times. But if it bites me once and causes pain, I may start associating cats and the experience of pain with anything white that moves. With further associations, it may extend to anything white and fluffy. This way, we lose our clarity and, through the expansion of associations, end up fearing anything fluffy and white… even cotton. The picture becomes extremely misleading.  

Another, and perhaps the most important reason responsible for all fears, is this small word we use all the time: mine. This sense of ownership inevitably creates the fear of loss, which is the source of all other fears.

But is it possible to exist and function effectively in this world without any sense of ownership, without the feeling of mine and yours? Is it truly the best alternative? What do you think? Who enjoys the clouds in the sky more: the one who observes and lets them pass, ready to enjoy what comes next, or the one who considers them theirs simply because they passed over their yard and fears they might leave, that they might lose them?   

Let’s recall the psychology of a visitor, a traveler that we all know. We have all been visitors in friends' homes, in a museum, or in another country. The feelings that characterize a visitor, such as lightness, a fresh perspective on things, a sense of freedom, carefreeness, and enthusiasm for the new, are common and dear to us all. All these are based on the visitor's awareness that nothing belongs to them, that they belong and come from somewhere else, and that they have a date of entry and exit.

The same applies to us. Even if our visit is long and we lose our sense of temporariness, we remain visitors. Even though we know there is a date of entry—our birthday—and that we will leave at some point, we tend to forget this in practice. Regardless of how many things we created with the sense of "mine," the truth is that no one can take even one person with them when they leave this world. Perhaps what we all take with us when we leave are only our memories, our experiences. This is the "mine" in the traveler's final suitcase.

So, what has happened? The longer we stay in the same place and give our attention and time to various objects, the more familiar we become with them. Depending on the emotions that arise within us, we desire them or not. For example, if a piece of music evokes feelings of euphoria in me, I may start fearing that I won’t be able to hear it again for any technical reason. However, the feeling of inner satisfaction arose from within me. Qualities like security, peace, happiness, and love belong to us and are the only ones we can never lose.

If I associate my emotions with external objects, which are merely the triggers for me to feel them, I give them the key, and they become my jailers. It's like signing a contract with fear because one of the laws of the material world is the expiration date, including our bodies. Therefore, every time something ends or leaves, and with which I have associated an emotion in my delusion or ignorance, I will fear losing my emotions. It’s like the sun seeking light or warmth or fearing losing them, even though the sun itself is their source. 

To free ourselves from fear or any other negative emotion, we need knowledge, observation, and practice. The knowledge and experience that the true self, which is as intangible as the qualities of security, peace, happiness, and love, and of which it is the source, is a visitor in this wonderful material world, the world of the senses. 

Why not try a different perspective on life, the perspective of a visitor, a traveler who visits this world to learn and enjoy?

What would it be like if, for the next half hour, I saw myself as a noble visitor who enjoys and uses everything in moderation and with respect, without fearing departure because, in any case, I was always complete?

Why shouldn’t the journey to Ithaca be a journey of deep wisdom, despite the Lestrygonians—or precisely because of them? … “not expecting Ithaca to give you wealth” but knowledge and more knowledge of freedom?